today.
mark today as the worst day of my life.
because i had to wake up so bloody early to go to school, school meaning IJ. and i met sher on the way. glad we're talking. although its obvious we're not talking as much as before. but still. this is a start isn't it? then it started POURING! reason number two as to why is horrible. then i realised that i forgot to get anything for my teachers! number three was that. i wore my school uniform and i reaaly felt weird and i felt that it made me look really really fat. but thank you to the wonderful MISS PETRINA SI! she told me that i was mad cause i'm not fat. that added a little colour to my bad and grey day. so did JASPER! gosh. i miss her so much. so many much. sorry dear for being so broke. and i can't return you your money. you're like another colour to my rainbow! EVANGELINE ANG YI LING! your squeals woke me up. your drama make me smile. and now we know that Sher likes it tight and painful!
thank you all for brightening my day i little bit. but it was dampened. maybe it was my mistake. or maybe i was jsut being plain moody because if the lack of sleep. or maybe its both. i don't know. i don't feel like i'm in control. maybe i lost control a long time ago.

i should try to cheer myself up.
maybe it will make me a happier person.
i don't know.
screw this shit.


AMAZING;
thank you for being the rational one here. and not saying anything that might hurt either one of us. thank you for everything. for hearing me cry last night. you were being a real sweetheart. i know you are confused. i am too. thank you for letting be honest with you. and i hope that you do not judge me for this.
which is why you're amazing.


PRECIOUS;
if you think you did nothing wrong. then tell me what i did wrong. tell me why all this happened in the first place? was this a misunderstanding? maybe you just assumed too much. we need to talk this out. i don't like this cold war. even though it hasn't been that long. but it sure feels long. but what you said. really caused me to hate myself. i felt really little. it was as though you could crush me with your finger. i want this settled.
maybe we didn't understand each other enough. thats why this happened.